Religious One-Liners

 

  1. Give God what's right - not what's left.
  2. "Pray" is a four-letter word you can say anywhere - except in public schools.
  3. Man's way leads to a hopeless end - God's way leads to an endless hope.
  4. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
  5. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
  6. To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
  7. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma - but never let him be the period.
  8. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
  9. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a facelift.
  10. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
  11. God doesn't want shares of your life - He wants a controlling interest.
  12. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
  13. We don't change God's message - His message changes us.
  14. The church is prayer-conditioned.
  15. When God ordains, He sustains.
  16. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
  17. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
  18. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
  19. Suffering with truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
  20. Exercise daily - walk with the Lord.
  21. Coincidences happen when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  22. Wisdom has two parts - 1) having a lot to say 2) not saying it.
  23. Never give the devil a ride - he will always want to drive.
  24. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
  25. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
  26. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
  27. He who angers you controls you.
  28. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
  29. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
  30. Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  31. Be ye fishers of men - you catch them & He'll clean them.
  32. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
  33. If God is your co-pilot - swap seats.