Subject: WWJD


Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But according to Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, the initials really mean, "What would Jesus drive?"

One of Ostler's readers theorized that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But then Roy Rivenburg jumped into the fray, saying in his online humor column "Off-Kilter" ( that in Psalm 83, "the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.'"

Rivenburg goes on to postulate that God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because "Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until 'the Ram's horn sounds a long blast.'"

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Meanwhile, Ostler has discovered that Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Well, I thought Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles carpooled in a Honda—"The Apostles were in one Accord."