The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX.
Things I've learned from my children!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
And we must all wonder: What was their FATHER like at this age?!?
- A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot house 2 inches deep.
- If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies it makes them much easier to collect, and running over them with roller blades, they can even ignite!
- A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman under-wear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20-foot room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up several times before you get a hit, but a ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long, LONG way.
- The glass in(even double pane) windows doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
- Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
- "Play Dough" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.
- Super Glue IS forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jam sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens and vice versa.
- The fire department in Austin has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up as much as TWICE their body weight when dizzy!