1. Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.

2. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be

called Fairwell Honeychild.

3. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: New company will be

called Poly-Warner-Cracker.

4. W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, and Hale

Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

5. 3M & Goodyear: mmmGood.

6. John Deere & Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi

7. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home

8. Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining: Mine, All Mine

9. 3M, J.C. Penney, Metropolitan Opera Company: 3 Penney Opera

10. Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants: Poupon Pants

11. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women: Knott NOW

12. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining: Zip Audi Do-Da

13. Netscape & Yahoo: Net 'n' Yahoo

14. Fed-Ex & UPS: FedUp