Facts of Life


  1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELL-O to a tree.
  2. There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
  3. The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.
  4. Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
  5. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
  6. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
  7. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not for the toy.
  8. My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
  9. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
  10. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.