Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

10. Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.

9. The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.

8. The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.

7. The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."

6. The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.

5. Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you're taking.

4. The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries Not Included."

3. You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.

2. You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.

1. When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.