Golf Wisdom

* When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~Author Unknown.
* I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. ~Author Unknown
* I've spent most of my life golfing. the rest I've just wasted. ~Author Unknown
* They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken. ~Raymond Floyd
* The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ~Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)
* Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop
* It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. ~Hank Aaron
* Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five ~Paul Harvey
* Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~Jack Benny
* Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? ~Al Boliska
* The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~Billy Graham
* Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. ~Ben Hogan
* Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end. ~Chuck Hogan
* If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~Jack Lemmon
* It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~Mark Twain
* Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon
* Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose. ~Woodrow Wilson
* A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible . ~Author Unknown
* Gone golfin' ... be back about dark thirty. ~Author Unknown
* Born to golf. Forced to work. (sometimes with "to pay for habit" included.) ~Author Unknown
* My body is here, but my mind has already teed off . ~Author Unknown
* Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~Jimmy DeMaret
* May thy ball lie in green pastures . and not in still waters. ~~Author Unknown
* If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. ~Author Unknown
* The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~George Deukmejian
* Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ~Author Unknown